♥ I have a new ct scan due tomorrow. I am not scared nervous. I just want to get over it as soon as possible so I can return home to my son and family. I am getting so bored and tired of being at the hospital. But, who knows, maybe this will be different. Meaning they will give me great news.
♥ The weather is really nice. I love when it rains. If I could, I would dance under the rain. But, I would get sick. And I cant deal with that right now.
♥ It is enough with the medicine making me weak and tired. I don’t want to get sick. Wish me luck for tomorrow. I will leave in the afternoon. Thank you again for all the support and love. ♥
♥ Hi how are you? Well I’ve been taking the medication for quite some time. And I am starting to feel the effects now. Haven’t been feeling myself for a couple of days now. I feel sick to my stomach today.
♥ The biopsies from the lung only says that it is from the Osteosarcoma.
♥ I don’t have much to say right now. I think the video says what I wanted to say to you guys.
♥ Tomorrow I leave to Houston again. I am getting to tired of going there. It gets really annoying. And I lose time. Where I can be doing something else then being poked all the time.
♥ Well, I got to go. I feel like laying down. Trying to keep my food down. It is such a horrible day for me. Meaning my body feels yucky. But, the sun and clouds are wonderful. And full of life.
♥ Today is a good day. The weather is perfect. I am alive and here with my loved ones. Just only thing worrying me is the cancer. Well, a lot of stuff has been happening. I’ve been so busy with working on my videos, Facebook, filming, zombies, and being with my family. I love how busy I am.
♥ So far I had two biopsies done on my lungs. They removed a sample of the tissue to examine it. I just hope they know tomorrow what is going on and what cancer is it. Even though it must be 100% from the osteosarcoma.
♥ The new drug I am taking has very low side effects on me. The only effect I feel so far is just being a little bit more tired then usual. But, that’s ok. At least I don’t feel as sick like before.
♥ I also have some amazing news. Hanger Clinic has sponsored me with a prosthetic leg. I am really looking forward to walking again with two legs. I got tired using crutches all the time. It gets kind of annoying.
♥ Wish me luck tomorrow. I am excited and nervous to hear what the doctor has to say.
Lots of things are happening so fast. I can’t even keep track . That is why I always have my agenda close by. The month of August was the busiest so far. I had appointments almost every week.
When I was taking my medication, I was having bleeding in areas that shouldn’t bleed. So, the doctor wanted me to check for Hemorrhoids. It took forever to have an appointment . I had to call my doctor where I lived and make an appointment there so, they can send me to the doctor that checks for Hemorrhoids. I wasn’t looking forward to that at all.
After my general check up they referred me to the other doctor. I had to get some blood work before the colonoscopy, After that was cleared, in a week I had to go back. They made me take all my clothes off and wear a scrub. I layed on an operation table and had to lay on my side. They injected this medication that within minutes I was asleep.
When I woke up, the doctor told me there was nothing wrong in my colon. I was clear. He said that it must have been the medications doing that to me. And I agreed. After that appointment, I had my Houston appointment a week later. They did a CT Scan and said that the cancer was still growing. At this point of life, for the first time I didn’t cry. I got tired of hearing bad news all the time. I am ready for whatever comes my way. I am not going to lie, I used to be so afraid and would cry myself to sleep. But, that has passed I no longer feel that way.
I talked to the doctors about my next step. And they recommended this new trial. Which I will start soon enough. What the new trial does is that it targets this signal that makes the cancer grow. Once the medication stops the signals . The cancer either becomes stable or starts to die. I am hoping it starts to die. There is also that worse scenario that it might make that cancer rebel to the new medication.
I am really tired of being poked and getting scans all the time. I am tired of hospitals and doctors. So tired, that I don’t mind my destiny. I just want to live life without the medication making me sick all the time. What if I die and due to the medicine I can’t enjoy my last days with my family because it makes me sick ? That is not life. Not in my eyes. I haven’t given up. I still believe in miracles.
This month of August is crazy. A lot of things are happening. First my cousin from Virginia came here to live with us for nine months and she didn’t come along. Julyan, her baby came with her. Now you can imagine how crazy the house can get. My baby and Julyan are always fighting and screaming. It is a nonstop crazy house. No peace and quiet for me.
Today, I started drinking this jug of almost eight glasses to clean my colon. Because, tomorrow I have an appointment to get a check up of any bleeding inside my colon. I am not excited about that. The procedure will be done with a skinny looking hose with a light and camera attached to it. And you already know where that goes in. The good part is that I am going to be some what asleep throughout the procedure.
After that is done. In a week or so, I have an appointment for a ct scan to check how I am progressing. I am nervous but, I haven’t lost hope. I can’t wait for at least this week to be over already. I am excited that after the CT scan in a few days following that I will audition for a zombie. I miss doing zombie work with my Zombie family. It is so much fun and a lot of fake blood. This month is stressful and fun. Best of both worlds.
I am a shy and reserved person. I dislike people staring at me. Especially now more then ever. Now that it has been a year since my amputation. I have been changing how I see people staring at me. I am learning not to care anymore about the staring. I really want people to know my story and my journey to recovery.
There are many reasons why people stare at me. Might be because I am walking with one leg. It’s unique to find someone walking around and missing a part of their body. You don’t see that in an everyday thing.
One thing that I have notice is that children stare the most. They have that look of confused minds. I don’t blame them since its the parents responsibility to educate them. Every time a child stares all I can do is wave hi and smile. That gets them to stop staring.
I don’t know why it is so hard for me at times to just be myself and walk in crutches to the store. I am afraid of being judged or made fun of. I don’t think I can take that at the moment. Maybe in the future I will be much stronger. It is not as easy to just show off my one strong leg. What would you do in my situation?
Chemotherapy can affect a person in different ways. In my case, I had all the effects that you can think of. It ranged from being very sleepy to throwing up every time I was on it. There is a difference from the chemotherapy in a bag versus the therapy pills. It has been a year since I last stayed in the hospital for chemo. Now that I am no longer on that I am on target therapy.
Target therapy is chemotherapy in pill form. It affects each individual differently. Sometimes I can get nausea, sleepiness, rashes, and sometimes I can get swollen. I dislike the effects from the medicine. Have you ever had a very sick day that you’re in your bed the whole day? Well, you can imagine that I feel like that almost every day when I take them. I never want to do anything because of the way they make me feel. Who would have knew I would be in the shoes of a cancer patient. Now, I know how it is to go through something like this. It’s hard on the patient and loved ones. But, I would rather go through it than to see my family or son have this illness. I know I am much stronger then them. So, I tell life and cancer to bring it on. Because I am not going anywhere until I am done with everything that I want to do in this crazy life.
On July 2nd I went for a follow up for the medications. I was having a little bit of a problem with them. I got sick after three days of taking them. The effects my body got from the target therapy was nausea, headaches, diarrhea, stomach pains, and lost of appetite. I had to suspend the medication till I saw my doctor again.
When I saw the doctor in person. They said to give it another try but, this time they prescribed steroids and nausea medicine. I have to take the steroids for five days straight with the medication. And so far so good. I haven’t felt the effects of the pills so far. And hoping its manageable.
They told me this is the only option so far for me. Radiation and surgery are out of the question. I can’t do radiation because of the tumors in my lungs. They are everywhere and it can make it worse if radiation was used on them. Of course I don’t want that.
I have decided to give this target therapy another try and see what the results will be in a few weeks. I am hoping and praying that the medicine from the hospital and the natural medicine will cure me once and for all. I haven’t lost faith.
I am really looking forward to the day I am cured. I can’t wait to get back to my feet. I want to go back to school, work, and take my son to places. I used to hate school and I can’t believe I am saying this but, I miss it a lot. My future plans for later on is to one day get cured and then have my own family. I really want to grow old and see my baby boy growing up.
This is not any regular scan, I have done this more then a normal person would. It’s not my favorite thing to do. But, I do it to find out about how I am doing in my lungs. It’s a scary feeling because it deals with knowing how my cancer is doing.
Due to my previous scans, they were never good news. My tumors were always growing, stable, or classified. During my change of diet and taking vidatox. I expect and hope that this upcoming scan will bring good news and show that all my effort has payed off.
The doctor who prescribed me vidatox said I shall see results within three months of taking it. And guess what ? Its been three months already. To boost up the healing process I have also done some natural stuff along the way. Meaning, I have been eating a proper diet. Eating all organic and healthy stuff. I expect the wheatgrass and apricots seeds payed off as well.
On June 20th I will have a ct scan done. They always have to poke me with a needle and inject ct iodine. That liquid that runs through my whole body and it feels like I am burning inside for a few seconds. After the scan is done I will have to wait for the next day to find out the results. I haven’t lost faith in that one day I will have awesome news. I have a feeling that this scan will be the one to celebrate.
I don’t like talking about this topic. Because I can get very sentimental. I will try my best to open up to everyone. I was raised up with all my body parts. I never would have imagine that this would have happen to me.
After the surgery, life was never the same. I saw everything in a whole new way. In the beginning I would cry everyday. And ask myself what did I do to deserve this. In the news I would see how the police capture criminals and they are healthy with no body parts missing. I would never do a crime like they have. And yet I was the one punished in this unimaginable way. As the days go by , the feeling of being whole starts to fade away. I don’t think it will ever vanish of wanting my leg back. But, I try to stay positive as much as I can.
Whenever I go out. I always tend to go in wheelchair. No matter if in wheelchair or in crutches people are always going to stare. They all ask the same question, “what happened to her?” Sometimes, to make me feel better. I imagine I am a celebrity and people just can’t stop staring. I know it’s crazy but, it works.
My advice to other people going through my situation is that not to be afraid of what people say. Think of it as a positive thing. People want to know more about you and your situation. In that case it does sound like a celebrity. Maybe they can take a picture and spread it around. Life is so full of possibilities .