I recently started making YouTube videos. I started around four months ago. At first I was so scared and wasn’t sure if to post my first video. I decided to post and thought to myself that maybe no one will see it or notice it. After two weeks had past, I logged into YouTube and was ready to delete the video. But, to my surprise my video had 2,000 views and 200 subscribers. I was so shocked and amazed.
After my first video, it took me some time to post my next videos. I started thinking what else to talk about on YouTube. It was my channel, my voice, and my opinions. I noticed that many girls on that site, were making makeup tutorials. I am a little bit different in a way. I don’t buy as much makeup before. Nor do I wear as much as some of them.
Also, when people see my videos, I feel like they are listening to me and what I have to say. It means a lot to me that people hear me out.
Once I started getting the hang of the makeup. I started buying a lot of makeup. Having all the colors of every type of product is so much fun. I feel like a makeup artist being born. I used to paint a lot on paper and drawing anime. But, drawing on the face, is a whole new level for me. Learning each day about makeup and how to blend the eye shadows. It takes time and patience. I always tend to mess up the first couple of times. My goal is to be somewhat professional on YouTube for the makeup community.
Insomnia is something that I’ve been experiencing for the last two weeks. Before I got my own room. I used to sleep with my parents. I always slept early never past twelve of midnight. My sister was getting ready to move to a dorm near her university. I was excited for her as well for myself. Because, it meant that I was going to get my own room.
I started moving some of my belongings upstairs to my room. The first night was kind of weird. I couldn’t sleep. I started to watch movies on Netflix. Sometimes that would help me sleep better. Especially if the movies were a tad boring.
As the days started to pass by, each night was the same. I would toss and turn trying to fall asleep. The earliest I ever fell asleep was at one. But, that was if I was lucky enough. I always fall asleep around two to three in the morning. Maybe it is because I am so used to sleeping with my mom or someone else in the room. The reason is still a mystery.
Having my own room won’t last long. By the end of July, my cousin will be here with her son. And I will have a roommate. I hope that will change my sleeping pattern.
Lonelinesscan affect the majority of us. In my case, loneliness affects me most of the time. Whenever I am at the hospital especially staying overnight for many days. It affects me the most. I even had depression because of it. I dislike staying in the hospital. But, on the other hand staying at home is much better. I am not hooked on machines and can do whatever I want. I am not saying that I don’t get lonely at home. Sometimes I do get lonely here.
Being at home with my family and seeing my little man running around, makes me so happy. It takes the loneliness away. Every time I start to feel down at home, I just hug my son very tight and I make a promise to always be there for him even if he sees me or not. It is a promise I will keep. Just thinking about my words, makes me cry. I am not ready to leave, not yet.
My advice for being lonely is that not everyday will feel like that. Not all days are perfect. Just got to make the best out of it and think positive. I like to surround myself with people that love me for who I am.
Have you ever been bullied? I have been bullied since elementary school. Well, at the moment not so much. When I was little I was different than the rest of the girls in school. I was chubby and hit puberty at an early age. Other girls in school were skinny and had perfect skin. They had the guys asking them out or should I say liking them and hanging out with them.
I was a loner always hanging out by myself. They didn’t include me in any of their groups. I would hang out by myself on this hill and cried my eyes out. They would make fun of me and call me pepperoni face. I wanted to feel that I belong in a group.
As time flies by, I started to grow and get skinnier. I started making more friends. Still at that moment I wasn’t that pretty. I was still breaking out. At an early stage of life. I started liking guys but in return they just didn’t like me because of my face and started to make fun of me. That’s when I decided to buy some makeup. I bought cover-up and put it all over my face every time I went to school. That helped me feel a little bit better.
As I got mature throughout the years, I look back at my past and just start to laugh. I was so young and naïve. I always cared about fitting in with the popular crowd. I learned that I shouldn’t care what bullies say. All they do is talk. The only way to get them off your back is not to let them see you get down or cry. I learned that the hard way.
If I have a chance to go back in time and talk to the bullies I would have probably not given them much importance. And just have a smile on my face.
Detox is something very important to me. I try my best to stick to it as much as I can. Right now I am detoxifying myself for three days. This will help clean out my organs and toxicity. Some people may call this fasting. I like to call it a challenge. I have never skipped a meal before. But, I guess there is always a first time to everything.
My three day fasting includes only liquids. Meaning, I can only drink organic fruit and veggie juices. Also, don’t forget to drink lots of water. My other drinks are water with lemon and cat claw supplements in water. It is not as bad as it sounds. Trust me. http://www.myfightmovie.com/photos/morning/
The first day was pretty easy. My parents were going to do the challenge with me. But, unfortunately they only lasted a few hours. My mom lasted the whole day except when it came to the night. She told me that she had to eat because her stomach was hurting. So, I was left alone on this journey to detox my body.
The next day was a bit hard for me. I started feeling super hungry and my mom had to make empanadas. Empanadas are a Colombian recipe, which is so good. It was so tempting but, I thought about my goal. I wanted to heal and lose weight at the same time. I went upstairs and tried to avoid the kitchen as much as I can.
Even though the detox is for up to three days. I think I am going to go for a week. Just to make sure I am super detox from toxins and other stuff that I don’t even know. I want to be healthy and cancer free. And only I can help myself with that.
It all started when I was 18 years old. I first notice I was pregnant and when I missed my period. Then a couple of weeks into it, I started getting big. Not big as in fat but, big as in a pregnant female. Being pregnant was a nice experience. It felt like I was a creator.
I have another life inside of me. That I must protect.
I never have thought of abortion. I am pro life. And I believe strongly that every person has a chance of living. I did think about adoption. I had many days to think about it. But, I imagine a stranger taking care of my baby. What if that stranger didn’t love my baby or mistreated him? Too many things going inside my head. That I couldn’t give him up like that. I am his mother and for that I am responsible for him. So, at the end I decided to keep him. I know it was going to be hard especially when he was a newborn. And indeed it was hard going to school and taking care of him. I barley had any sleep. What made me keep on going is that, I imagine him grown up. And all the hard work I put on him, paid off.
After I went to my check up. The doctor told me I was going to deliver soon and had to be in the hospital. I was so nervous and scared. They called an ambulance to come pick me up from the clinic. I couldn’t stand up because my son was ready to come out any minute now. I never knew the sex of my son. Until I gave birth. I thought I was having a girl . I had a girl name picked out and baby girl clothes for when the baby would be born. Once I was in the hospital giving birth, they told me it was a boy. I was happy he came out fine but kind of sad that it wasn’t a girl. Since I was expecting a baby girl. The only thing that scared me at that moment was that he was born premature and weight 3 pounds. He had to be in the NICU for two months. I would pray every night for him to make it.
It was time to pick out his name. I didn’t know what name to put him since I thought he was going to be a girl. And the name, David just popped out in my head. I didn’t think much for his name. But, if I did I think I would have named him a different name. Maybe I would have named him Romeo. But, David suits him perfectly.
Without him I wouldn’t have been fighting for my life.
My baby gives me the strength to continue fighting. I love my son so much. ❤
Wow! I have so much to say about this. First of, no matter what social media you have, there are always going to betrollsorbulliesin the internet. I have encounter a few of themso far. Some of them would say really mean and hurtful things to me. I must admit they are pretty good at putting a person down. But, I try to think about why they would write something so harsh to someone that they don’t even know.
I came in conclusion that a troll writes harsh things to others for attention. They want to feel better about themselves. They think that by hurting someone they will be in control. What I do, is not to give them any attention or write back to them. It just boost up their egos if I write back to them. They are attention seekers.
No matter where you go in the internet or out in the street. People will always judge and some will say mean things. That’s just part of being a human being. And it’s our own job not to let that get us down.Don’t give them what they want. Do the opposite and I guarantee that they will leave you alone.
Family is a big part of my life. They have been and will continue to be by my side. I don’t know where I would be without them. I love them so much. Ever since I had CANCER. They have been with me. They have seen me during the good and bad.
This has put us great stress in money. My dad is the only one that works right now for the family. He provides for my mom, two sisters, brother, Terry (the crazy dog), and myself. Whenever I have a hospital visit in Houston, he always manages to have that day off and takes me to it. My mom is also a big part of helping by taking care of my beautiful son, David.
I have never pictured myself in this situation nor my parents. It is very difficult on all of us. But, we always manage to stay positive and live life to the fullest. They always try to make my wishes come true and to make me feel less depressed about my situation. And for that I thank them with all my heart. I love you MOM and DAD. ❤
Ever since I found I had cancer, I been searching all over the internet on how to cure my cancer. There are a lot of interesting stories and miracles. Some of them that caught my attention was that, some people had cured themselves with cancer by just eating right and avoiding all processed food. I must admit this sounds way better than going through chemotherapy. After my sessions with chemo didn’t work on me. I gave up on chemo.
Chemotherapy was likehellfor me. It did more harm than good. I would never put myself in that situation again. I switch my diet to all natural and mostly all organic. I eat fruits and veggies, which I hate so much. But, at the long run, this will pay off. I read how people would eat apricot seeds, wheat grass, and etc. And I am doing everything possible. One medicine that I am taking is the Cuban medicine called Vidatox. It all started when my dad was talking to a co-worker about cancer. His co-worker said that one of his friends from Mexico had terminal cancer and doctors weren’t going to help him. He searched everywhere for another answer. And he heard about Vidatox. He started taking the medicine and its been a few years and he’s still alive. His cancer is gone.
Vidatox is a natural medicine. Meaning, no chemicals like chemotherapy. My dad flew there and got me the medicine for me. So far I’ve been feeling great. And I haven’t giving up hope that one day I will be cancer free.
Yesterday was a big day for me. The doctors talked about my blood work and ct scans. The blood work was great. Nothing bad was in the results. One less thing to worry about. On the other hand, the ct scans had some bad and good results. The good thing is that, no new tumors are forming. And some of them are calcified. Meaning that most likely they are benign. Being benign means that the tumors aren’t cancerous or it doesn’t spread anywhere else in the body.
The bad news is that a few of the tumors are slowly growing. And that makes me worry a lot . I try not to think about it as much. But, it’s hard when my life is threaten and I don’t know what path I should take next. I still hope for the best and that one day I would be in remission.
The doctors are planning to give me another trial for a different type of medicine. I feel that it wont work and I am not going to take it. I am not a bunny or an animal for them to be testing on me what works and what doesn’t. After I heard all the bad effects on the medicine. I would be crazy to even put myself in that type of situation. I am just going to continue on eating right and drinking my medicine from Cuba.